Drug and Alcohol Recovery Support for Young People

For young people who struggle with an addiction to alcohol and/or drugs, recovery is a difficult process due to peer expectations and pressure to engage in drinking and drugging behaviors in most social situations. Bars, parties, and social gatherings are common places for teens and young adults to meet friends and socialize. Especially college students who are new to campus and are looking for a place to meet peers and develop new friendships.

A sober support system is very important to anyone in recovery, let alone young people who desire peer acceptance and acknowledgment. Although this is a normal part of any teen or young adults development and movement into adulthood, for those with an abuse or dependency problem it is one of the most significant challenges in their recovery process. If the young person has a willingness to find a new group of friends and peers who are sober, there are places to do so. However, the willingness to do so is the key ingredient. Many young people struggle with closing the door on their using friend group, which is understandable. Developing friendships is a very important task during the teen years and for some it doesn't come easily.

Here are opportunities for young people to find support from sober peers and adults;

• AA: Alcoholics Anonymous often has young people's meetings, especially in those areas where there are colleges and universities. In Boulder, CO, there are young people's AA meetings 2 nights each week, which are appropriately called, "Campus Group" because of its close proximity to the CU-Boulder campus.
  
• NA: Narcotics Anonymous offers groups in most cities, however, young peoples meetings are more difficult to come by. Call your local NA and inquire about groups that are open to and appropriate for young people.
  
• Phoenix MultiSport: http://www.phoenixmultisport.org. This organization is based in Boulder/Denver area of Colorado. Visit their website for a possible chapter in your area.
  "Phoenix Multisport fosters a supportive, physically active community for individuals who are recovering from alcohol and substance abuse and those who choose to live a sober life. Through such pursuits as climbing, hiking, running, swimming, road and mountain biking, and other activities, we seek to help our members develop and maintain the emotional strength they need to stay sober."
• Therapeutic Groups and Support Groups: Local therapists, mental health centers, and other organizations (i.e. hospitals, etc) offer an array of opportunities for young people to find support and peer connections. Locate professionals in your area who specialize in teen and young adult issues and who also specialize in substance abuse and addictions.
• College or University Campus often have counseling and group support for those in need of recovery services. Call your health center to find out more information.

Is your child struggling with depression?

It is not easy to recognize the signs of depression in teenagers because of the many developmental changes they are going through. They not only are experiencing hormonal changes, but are also expected to figure out who they are as individuals, what they value, what their vocational path will be, and what their sexuality is. Identity development. There is really no other time in our lives that we go through as much as change as we do when we are teens. It is a turbulent time for even the most well-adapted kids who come from the most well-adapted families.

Some of the signs are blaring signals, such as suicidal thoughts or attempts. The trick is to figure out the signs of depression and seek help before it gets to this really scary and unsafe place.

Signs of Depression in Teens

• Isolation from peers and family
  
• Lack of self-care; not showering, wearing dirty clothing
• Changes in sleeping patterns; trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
• Changes in appetite; not eating enough or eating too much
• Sadness and hopelessness
  
• Loss of interest in activities
• Lack of motivation and enthusiasm
• Difficulty concentrating
• Irritability, anger, hostility
  
• Lack of energy, fatigue
• Thoughts of death and suicide

Depression in males is often expressed in an outward manner through aggression and defiant behaviors. This can be easily misinterpreted as something else, however, if you have a son who's aggressive behavior has increased it would be wise to consider whether depression is a factor.

Untreated depression can lead to:

• Low self-esteem; depression can trigger and intensify feelings of being shame, failure, low self-worth, poor body image.
  
• School problems; poor attendance, falling or failing grades
  
• Drug and alcohol abuse; self-medicate depressed feelings
  
• Promiscuity; attempt to feel wanted and accepted due to feelings of low-self worth
• Gaming/internet addiction; Escape problems by going on-line, increases isolation and fuels depressive thoughts and feelings.
  
• Self-injury; Attempt to regulate/self-soothe depressed emotions and feelings.
• High risk behaviors & Violence (bullying); adrenaline rush to mask depression, gain control and power to mask the hopeless and helpless feelings.

Depression is viewed from a situational standpoint and a chemical-imbalance standpoint. Difficult to tolerate situations such as loss of a loved one, move to a new place/school, social ineptness that leads to isolation from peers, unsuccessful in school (i.e. undiagnosed learning disability or ADHD) can be major contributors to depression. It is believed that depression has a genetic link, so a review of your family history and depression is important to explore and share with a professional if you are concerned about your child's emotional state.

If you are concerned about your child having depression, there are many professional options available to you such as mental health therapists who specialize in teen issues, child and adolescent psychiatrists, school counselors and social workers.

In Colorado, the Second Wind Fund is a resource that provides no-cost counseling to teens (up to 19) who do not have insurance or the funds available for counseling. See your school counselor for information to see if you qualify.

Internet and Video Gaming Problems

I am seeing more young people in my practice who are struggling to manage their time on computers. They are losing touch with friends at school, dropping activities they used to enjoy, fighting more with parents, and are experiencing slipping grades. Parents are challenged to figure out how to manage this problem, one which we are discovering is complicated and quite addicting to the developing brains of our young people. It is complicated because computers are everywhere. Most families in the US own a computer, if not 2 or 3. Many young people have computers in their bedrooms.

Facebook, My Space, World of Warcraft, Halo, Call of Duty, and The Sims are some examples of social-networking sites and games that attract a lot of our young peoples time. However, the games that we are most concerned about are the MMORPGs or massive multi player on-line role-play games. Thousands of players from all over the world log onto these games and interact with each other. They form guilds, which is like a team. They work together to accomplish a goal. They play play together for months or years. World of Warcraft (WOW), Maple Story, and Everquest are examples of these games. There are actually 174 MMORPGs available to play right now.

I am focusing on this type of game because we are finding that it is one of the most addictive right now. In China and South Korea video game addiction is their most pressing public health problem. They have discovered several years ago what we are just learning now.

What causes these types of games to become potentially addictive? In order for the player to be successful, they are required to devote a lot of time and attention to the game. Your guild counts on you to be available. You have a responsibility to your new friends and do not want to let them down. Dopamine, which is a feel-good chemical, is released whenever an important task is accomplished, one that may have taken days or maybe weeks to complete. As a result, the player feels good and seeks more pleasure by playing the game.

Many times, the young people engaged in these games lack social skills and find it difficult connecting with peers at school and in the community. Multi player games make a social network easily accessible to these young people. The teen or young adult with low self-esteem can also develop and portray a persona that they believe others will like. Young people report that some of their best friends are people they have never seen or talked to on the phone, but have met via the video games.

So what is the antidote? Helping your child develop social skills and how to handle emotions so they can connect to the real world. The experiences in the real world are anxiety provoking for a lot of gamers, so a support of a therapist or mentor is advised. Parents, you will most likely be in the role of the enforcer, so finding a support system to assist you and your child will increase the chances of success.

Changing Seasons; A stressful time for teens and young adults returning to school

Our mood and behavior is effected by the changing seasons. What do you think about that? Do you think that is possible? As a therapist who specializes in teen and young adult issues I can't help but see the connection. I see it mostly in the fall, winter, and spring. Now, we all have our theories as to why seasonal changes affect our mood so much. There is such a thing called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), also referred to as winter depression, winter blues, or the hibernation reaction. It is a type of depression that is triggered by the shorter days of fall and winter. The decreasing light and colder temperatures are major factors. For most of us the shining sun has a way of making us want to be outside, exercise more, and eat better which helps us to feel better about ourselves.

Working with teens and young adults, I see how summer changing to fall can bring about a lot of change that is oftentimes very stressful. No, I'm not talking about the stress we experience when it is colder or the days are shorter, but the stress young people feel (not to mention parents) when they return to school in the fall. In my opinion this is why young people experience more mood and behavioral issues. The first semester back in school can be an exciting time for some, but can be challenging for most. It is the transition from down-time and vacations in the summer to a highly structured and somewhat rigorous schedule in a pretty short span of time. Depending on how well the young person copes and how strong their support system is, measures how well they will adjust to this change. For example, if the young person struggles to make friends, or is challenged by attentional issues in the classroom and their performance suffers as a result, they will find it more difficult to settle into this transition in a healthy way. Many times, I see clients who feel anxious because they worry about what others think of them. Teens and young adults want to be recognized and acknowledged by their peers and believe it or not, the adults in their lives. If this is not happening, mood and behavior is effected and unhealthy coping measures will come into play. This may include substance abuse, self-harming behaviors, not following rules at home or school, or spending too much time playing World of Warcraft.

Especially during big transition times (such as the beginning of school), I encourage parents to check in with their kids on a more than regular basis. Sit-down dinners are encouraged most nights out of the week if possible. If that is not possible, then one a week is better than none. This is a valuable time to check in and hear how your kids are doing, as well as a time to provide support to them. Try to make this a time when confrontations do not take place or arguments do not occur so your teen or young adult child (if they are living at home) will feel like they can open up without judgment. You will learn a lot about their world if you allow them to talk without judging or challenging them in that moment.

Structure is important for all teens, but especially during transitions or times of change. Encouraging a consistent bedtime on school nights (remember that teens need 10 hours of sleep to function at their highest level), and designating a specific, consistent time they are home each night are both important ways to help the teen have less stress. It is also strongly encouraged that young people have at least an hour before bedtime when they are not on the computer, as it can be very stimulating and may effect their ability to fall asleep.

Like most young people living with their parents, they will challenge the structure you set and your expectations. This is part of their developmental process, so just expect it. It is really hard to compare any other time in our lives when we go through as much change as we do when we are teens and young adults. Physically, emotionally, socially......it is quite something.

Teen School Struggles

The school year is almost at its end. For many parents, it is a time to feel proud of their child. For others, it is a time of great concern. Many teens struggle with the expectations of school. This includes, achieving the minimum academic standards, concentrating and focusing during class, developing healthy peer relationships, respecting authority, refusing drugs and alcohol, and the list goes on. There are reasons why teens do not succeed in school. This may be due to attentional issues, substance abuse, emotional problems, learning disabilities that go unrecognized or are not adequately accommodated by the school, lack of parental support or family discord, nonacceptance by peers or negative peer pressure. Once again, this list goes on.

Oftentimes, parents do not know where to turn. It is strongly encouraged that parents use the low pressure time of summer to address academic and emotional concerns. There are many supportive services that address these issues and will provide support not only to the teen, but also to the whole family. It is likely that there is a combination of issues going on that prevent a teen from being successful in school. If it is not due to an unrecognized learning disability, then it may be due to not feeling accepted by their peer group. This may lead to isolation, loneliness, anxiety and depression. Teens do their best to cope with the pressures they feel at school. If they do not have an adequate support system or choose not to access one, they may begin to abuse substances or engage in self-harming behaviors in order to cope with the difficult feelings they are overwhelmed with. Counseling services provided by a licensed therapist who specializes in teen and family issues is strongly recommended. Get started now.

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Putting Your Family Back Together

As a parent, you have likely already accepted the fact that one of your primary responsibilities in life will be to care for and ensure the health and well-being of your children. In fact, being a caregiver to your kids has very likely become a main focus of your life. With so much tragedy in the world around us, it becomes ever more difficult to manage home and family (not to mention your relationship with your spouse). Once in a while, we are faced with harrowing situations that we can't handle on our own – nor should we expect to. If you have reached the point where your child or your home is in crisis and you can’t handle it by yourself, perhaps it's time to consider getting some third party, professional help.

It’s not a big secret that the world around us is collapsing. With economic disaster, social calamity, medical pandemics, violence, military difficulties, and stress beating down on us day after day, it’s not shocking that teenagers and young adults often have a hard time regulating their feelings. As a consequence of this fact, more and more young people turn to substance abuse, eating disorders, and eventually suffer from social anxiety. When an pubescent youth, teenager, or young adult turns to outside substance as a coping mechanisms, they often find that their relief comes in the form of an detrimental behavior.

Learning to cope with complicated situations and harsh emotions should be a careful process. Unfortunately, in today's world, our youth are often required to hurriedly learn what it means to grow up and handle emotion that their level of maturity is not ready to process. The good news is, no matter what crisis situation your family is facing, there is hope.

It's imperative for you to acknowledge that there is a motivation behind your crisis, and with any crisis there is also a resolution. Occasionally parents are too close to the circumstances to be able to rationalize a resolution. And sometimes the crisis is far too big for parents to handle alone. If this the case for you, and you come to the end of your rope; please don't rule out contacting a professional therapist or counseling service that can help put your family unit back on track.

 

We’ve said it before, but we’ll say it again; the men and women who dedicate themselves to providing therapy and counseling have also been incredibly well-educated on both the causes and solutions of the problems facing most of our youth today. When a young person loses their ability to cope with their emotions, thus resulting in family crisis, a counselor will be able to pinpoint the problem and provide therapeutic consultation to coach the family through a tough situation.

Seeking the Advice of a Counselor

Sometimes young adults find it hard to cope with the many changes that take place during their teenage years. If you or your teen is having problems dealing with situations or emotions that come up, you might think counseling is a helpful way of getting things out and finding solutions.

Counseling will help you in understanding your problems and learn how to cope with them in everyday life. You can be assured that everything you and the counselor talk about will be kept confidential. This means that they cannot and will not tell anyone, even your parents, anything you talk about unless you give them permission. Many people can help you find a good counselor. You can try to ask your doctor, to give you a referral to a local counselor. You can also ask your school guidance counselor to refer you to a counselor who deals with your issues. Some counselors will meet with you at school. You may also want to ask a teacher or parent to help you in finding a counselor. You can also check to see if there are mental health agencies near your home or school.

When you decide to talk to a counselor, you will have the chance to talk about anything that is on your mind. They are there to listen without judging you. You can also talk about serious problems that may be bothering you, which you may not feel comfortable talking to your parents about.

Most all counselors know that it takes much courage to go to a counselor and that it takes time to get comfortable with sharing in counseling. It can be hard to know in the first session, if you really feel comfortable enough with your counselor, to talk about things that are hard for you. Give the counselor a fair chance. If after a few attempts you still are not comfortable talking with the counselor, you should consider finding a new counselor. Since you will be talking to them about sensitive issues, you should have a counselor that you feel comfortable with.

Choosing to seek the advice of a counselor is a wise decision. You have taken the first step in helping to cope with life’s problems. All people feel overwhelmed at times and need to seek professional help, so you should not feel different or ashamed for asking for help. Your good mental health is most important.