Solutions for Families

Drug and Alcohol Recovery Support for Young People

2010-02-15T11:53:00.000-08:00

For young people who struggle with an addiction to alcohol and/or drugs, recovery is a difficult process due to peer expectations and pressure to engage in drinking and drugging behaviors in most social situations. Bars, parties, and social gatherings are common places for teens and young adults to meet friends and socialize. Especially college students who are new to campus and are looking for a place to meet peers and develop new friendships.

A sober support system is very important to anyone in recovery, let alone young people who desire peer acceptance and acknowledgment. Although this is a normal part of any teen or young adults development and movement into adulthood, for those with an abuse or dependency problem it is one of the most significant challenges in their recovery process. If the young person has a willingness to find a new group of friends and peers who are sober, there are places to do so. However, the willingness to do so is the key ingredient. Many young people struggle with closing the door on their using friend group, which is understandable. Developing friendships is a very important task during the teen years and for some it doesn't come easily.

Here are opportunities for young people to find support from sober peers and adults;

AA: Alcoholics Anonymous often has young people's meetings, especially in those areas where there are colleges and universities. In Boulder, CO, there are young people's AA meetings 2 nights each week, which are appropriately called, "Campus Group" because of its close proximity to the CU-Boulder campus.
NA: Narcotics Anonymous offers groups in most cities, however, young peoples meetings are more difficult to come by. Call your local NA and inquire about groups that are open to and appropriate for young people.
Phoenix MultiSport: http://www.phoenixmultisport.org. This organization is based in Boulder/Denver area of Colorado. Visit their website for a possible chapter in your area.
"Phoenix Multisport fosters a supportive, physically active community for individuals who are recovering from alcohol and substance abuse and those who choose to live a sober life. Through such pursuits as climbing, hiking, running, swimming, road and mountain biking, and other activities, we seek to help our members develop and maintain the emotional strength they need to stay sober."
Therapeutic Groups and Support Groups: Local therapists, mental health centers, and other organizations (i.e. hospitals, etc) offer an array of opportunities for young people to find support and peer connections. Locate professionals in your area who specialize in teen and young adult issues and who also specialize in substance abuse and addictions.
College or University Campus often have counseling and group support for those in need of recovery services. Call your health center to find out more information.

Is your child struggling with depression?

2009-10-23T13:35:00.000-07:00

It is not easy to recognize the signs of depression in teenagers because of the many developmental changes they are going through. They not only are experiencing hormonal changes, but are also expected to figure out who they are as individuals, what they value, what their vocational path will be, and what their sexuality is. Identity development. There is really no other time in our lives that we go through as much as change as we do when we are teens. It is a turbulent time for even the most well-adapted kids who come from the most well-adapted families.

Some of the signs are blaring signals, such as suicidal thoughts or attempts. The trick is to figure out the signs of depression and seek help before it gets to this really scary and unsafe place.

Signs of Depression in Teens

Isolation from peers and family
Lack of self-care; not showering, wearing dirty clothing
Changes in sleeping patterns; trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
Changes in appetite; not eating enough or eating too much
Sadness and hopelessness
Loss of interest in activities
Lack of motivation and enthusiasm
Difficulty concentrating
Irritability, anger, hostility
Lack of energy, fatigue
Thoughts of death and suicide

Depression in males is often expressed in an outward manner through aggression and defiant behaviors. This can be easily misinterpreted as something else, however, if you have a son who's aggressive behavior has increased it would be wise to consider whether depression is a factor.

Untreated depression can lead to:

Low self-esteem; depression can trigger and intensify feelings of being shame, failure, low self-worth, poor body image.
School problems; poor attendance, falling or failing grades
Drug and alcohol abuse; self-medicate depressed feelings
Promiscuity; attempt to feel wanted and accepted due to feelings of low-self worth
Gaming/internet addiction; Escape problems by going on-line, increases isolation and fuels depressive thoughts and feelings.
Self-injury; Attempt to regulate/self-soothe depressed emotions and feelings.
High risk behaviors & Violence (bullying); adrenaline rush to mask depression, gain control and power to mask the hopeless and helpless feelings.

Depression is viewed from a situational standpoint and a chemical-imbalance standpoint. Difficult to tolerate situations such as loss of a loved one, move to a new place/school, social ineptness that leads to isolation from peers, unsuccessful in school (i.e. undiagnosed learning disability or ADHD) can be major contributors to depression. It is believed that depression has a genetic link, so a review of your family history and depression is important to explore and share with a professional if you are concerned about your child's emotional state.

If you are concerned about your child having depression, there are many professional options available to you such as mental health therapists who specialize in teen issues, child and adolescent psychiatrists, school counselors and social workers.

In Colorado, the Second Wind Fund is a resource that provides no-cost counseling to teens (up to 19) who do not have insurance or the funds available for counseling. See your school counselor for information to see if you qualify.

Internet and Video Gaming Problems

2009-10-14T12:25:00.000-07:00

I am seeing more young people in my practice who are struggling to manage their time on computers. They are losing touch with friends at school, dropping activities they used to enjoy, fighting more with parents, and are experiencing slipping grades. Parents are challenged to figure out how to manage this problem, one which we are discovering is complicated and quite addicting to the developing brains of our young people. It is complicated because computers are everywhere. Most families in the US own a computer, if not 2 or 3. Many young people have computers in their bedrooms.

Facebook, My Space, World of Warcraft, Halo, Call of Duty, and The Sims are some examples of social-networking sites and games that attract a lot of our young peoples time. However, the games that we are most concerned about are the MMORPGs or massive multi player on-line role-play games. Thousands of players from all over the world log onto these games and interact with each other. They form guilds, which is like a team. They work together to accomplish a goal. They play play together for months or years. World of Warcraft (WOW), Maple Story, and Everquest are examples of these games. There are actually 174 MMORPGs available to play right now.

I am focusing on this type of game because we are finding that it is one of the most addictive right now. In China and South Korea video game addiction is their most pressing public health problem. They have discovered several years ago what we are just learning now.

What causes these types of games to become potentially addictive? In order for the player to be successful, they are required to devote a lot of time and attention to the game. Your guild counts on you to be available. You have a responsibility to your new friends and do not want to let them down. Dopamine, which is a feel-good chemical, is released whenever an important task is accomplished, one that may have taken days or maybe weeks to complete. As a result, the player feels good and seeks more pleasure by playing the game.

Many times, the young people engaged in these games lack social skills and find it difficult connecting with peers at school and in the community. Multi player games make a social network easily accessible to these young people. The teen or young adult with low self-esteem can also develop and portray a persona that they believe others will like. Young people report that some of their best friends are people they have never seen or talked to on the phone, but have met via the video games.

So what is the antidote? Helping your child develop social skills and how to handle emotions so they can connect to the real world. The experiences in the real world are anxiety provoking for a lot of gamers, so a support of a therapist or mentor is advised. Parents, you will most likely be in the role of the enforcer, so finding a support system to assist you and your child will increase the chances of success.

Changing Seasons; A stressful time for teens and young adults returning to school

2009-09-21T20:12:00.000-07:00

Our mood and behavior is effected by the changing seasons. What do you think about that? Do you think that is possible? As a therapist who specializes in teen and young adult issues I can't help but see the connection. I see it mostly in the fall, winter, and spring. Now, we all have our theories as to why seasonal changes affect our mood so much. There is such a thing called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), also referred to as winter depression, winter blues, or the hibernation reaction. It is a type of depression that is triggered by the shorter days of fall and winter. The decreasing light and colder temperatures are major factors. For most of us the shining sun has a way of making us want to be outside, exercise more, and eat better which helps us to feel better about ourselves.

Working with teens and young adults, I see how summer changing to fall can bring about a lot of change that is oftentimes very stressful. No, I'm not talking about the stress we experience when it is colder or the days are shorter, but the stress young people feel (not to mention parents) when they return to school in the fall. In my opinion this is why young people experience more mood and behavioral issues. The first semester back in school can be an exciting time for some, but can be challenging for most. It is the transition from down-time and vacations in the summer to a highly structured and somewhat rigorous schedule in a pretty short span of time. Depending on how well the young person copes and how strong their support system is, measures how well they will adjust to this change. For example, if the young person struggles to make friends, or is challenged by attentional issues in the classroom and their performance suffers as a result, they will find it more difficult to settle into this transition in a healthy way. Many times, I see clients who feel anxious because they worry about what others think of them. Teens and young adults want to be recognized and acknowledged by their peers and believe it or not, the adults in their lives. If this is not happening, mood and behavior is effected and unhealthy coping measures will come into play. This may include substance abuse, self-harming behaviors, not following rules at home or school, or spending too much time playing World of Warcraft.

Especially during big transition times (such as the beginning of school), I encourage parents to check in with their kids on a more than regular basis. Sit-down dinners are encouraged most nights out of the week if possible. If that is not possible, then one a week is better than none. This is a valuable time to check in and hear how your kids are doing, as well as a time to provide support to them. Try to make this a time when confrontations do not take place or arguments do not occur so your teen or young adult child (if they are living at home) will feel like they can open up without judgment. You will learn a lot about their world if you allow them to talk without judging or challenging them in that moment.

Structure is important for all teens, but especially during transitions or times of change. Encouraging a consistent bedtime on school nights (remember that teens need 10 hours of sleep to function at their highest level), and designating a specific, consistent time they are home each night are both important ways to help the teen have less stress. It is also strongly encouraged that young people have at least an hour before bedtime when they are not on the computer, as it can be very stimulating and may effect their ability to fall asleep.

Like most young people living with their parents, they will challenge the structure you set and your expectations. This is part of their developmental process, so just expect it. It is really hard to compare any other time in our lives when we go through as much change as we do when we are teens and young adults. Physically, emotionally, socially......it is quite something.

Teen School Struggles

2009-05-27T20:33:00.000-07:00

The school year is almost at its end. For many parents, it is a time to feel proud of their child. For others, it is a time of great concern. Many teens struggle with the expectations of school. This includes, achieving the minimum academic standards, concentrating and focusing during class, developing healthy peer relationships, respecting authority, refusing drugs and alcohol, and the list goes on. There are reasons why teens do not succeed in school. This may be due to attentional issues, substance abuse, emotional problems, learning disabilities that go unrecognized or are not adequately accommodated by the school, lack of parental support or family discord, nonacceptance by peers or negative peer pressure. Once again, this list goes on.

Oftentimes, parents do not know where to turn. It is strongly encouraged that parents use the low pressure time of summer to address academic and emotional concerns. There are many supportive services that address these issues and will provide support not only to the teen, but also to the whole family. It is likely that there is a combination of issues going on that prevent a teen from being successful in school. If it is not due to an unrecognized learning disability, then it may be due to not feeling accepted by their peer group. This may lead to isolation, loneliness, anxiety and depression. Teens do their best to cope with the pressures they feel at school. If they do not have an adequate support system or choose not to access one, they may begin to abuse substances or engage in self-harming behaviors in order to cope with the difficult feelings they are overwhelmed with. Counseling services provided by a licensed therapist who specializes in teen and family issues is strongly recommended. Get started now.

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Putting Your Family Back Together

2009-04-23T19:46:00.001-07:00

As a parent, you have likely already accepted the fact that one of your primary responsibilities in life will be to care for and ensure the health and well-being of your children. In fact, being a caregiver to your kids has very likely become a main focus of your life. With so much tragedy in the world around us, it becomes ever more difficult to manage home and family (not to mention your relationship with your spouse). Once in a while, we are faced with harrowing situations that we can't handle on our own – nor should we expect to. If you have reached the point where your child or your home is in crisis and you can’t handle it by yourself, perhaps it's time to consider getting some third party, professional help.

It’s not a big secret that the world around us is collapsing. With economic disaster, social calamity, medical pandemics, violence, military difficulties, and stress beating down on us day after day, it’s not shocking that teenagers and young adults often have a hard time regulating their feelings. As a consequence of this fact, more and more young people turn to substance abuse, eating disorders, and eventually suffer from social anxiety. When an pubescent youth, teenager, or young adult turns to outside substance as a coping mechanisms, they often find that their relief comes in the form of an detrimental behavior.

Learning to cope with complicated situations and harsh emotions should be a careful process. Unfortunately, in today's world, our youth are often required to hurriedly learn what it means to grow up and handle emotion that their level of maturity is not ready to process. The good news is, no matter what crisis situation your family is facing, there is hope.

It's imperative for you to acknowledge that there is a motivation behind your crisis, and with any crisis there is also a resolution. Occasionally parents are too close to the circumstances to be able to rationalize a resolution. And sometimes the crisis is far too big for parents to handle alone. If this the case for you, and you come to the end of your rope; please don't rule out contacting a professional therapist or counseling service that can help put your family unit back on track.

We’ve said it before, but we’ll say it again; the men and women who dedicate themselves to providing therapy and counseling have also been incredibly well-educated on both the causes and solutions of the problems facing most of our youth today. When a young person loses their ability to cope with their emotions, thus resulting in family crisis, a counselor will be able to pinpoint the problem and provide therapeutic consultation to coach the family through a tough situation.

Seeking the Advice of a Counselor

2009-04-18T19:24:00.001-07:00

Sometimes young adults find it hard to cope with the many changes that take place during their teenage years. If you or your teen is having problems dealing with situations or emotions that come up, you might think counseling is a helpful way of getting things out and finding solutions.

Counseling will help you in understanding your problems and learn how to cope with them in everyday life. You can be assured that everything you and the counselor talk about will be kept confidential. This means that they cannot and will not tell anyone, even your parents, anything you talk about unless you give them permission. Many people can help you find a good counselor. You can try to ask your doctor, to give you a referral to a local counselor. You can also ask your school guidance counselor to refer you to a counselor who deals with your issues. Some counselors will meet with you at school. You may also want to ask a teacher or parent to help you in finding a counselor. You can also check to see if there are mental health agencies near your home or school.

When you decide to talk to a counselor, you will have the chance to talk about anything that is on your mind. They are there to listen without judging you. You can also talk about serious problems that may be bothering you, which you may not feel comfortable talking to your parents about.

Most all counselors know that it takes much courage to go to a counselor and that it takes time to get comfortable with sharing in counseling. It can be hard to know in the first session, if you really feel comfortable enough with your counselor, to talk about things that are hard for you. Give the counselor a fair chance. If after a few attempts you still are not comfortable talking with the counselor, you should consider finding a new counselor. Since you will be talking to them about sensitive issues, you should have a counselor that you feel comfortable with.

Choosing to seek the advice of a counselor is a wise decision. You have taken the first step in helping to cope with life’s problems. All people feel overwhelmed at times and need to seek professional help, so you should not feel different or ashamed for asking for help. Your good mental health is most important.

The Team of Online Therapy Professionals

2009-04-17T19:53:00.001-07:00

Do you know where your teenager is right now, who their friends are, what they are doing when they are out of your sight? Do you have an open line of communication with them or do you only assume you do? Have their grades been dropping, or perhaps you just realized how much school your teenager is missing? Maybe you have found that the child you once knew completely has grown into a teenager that you no longer know.

A lot of times parents think they know their children and who they hang around with as well as the extracurricular activities they are involved in only to discover otherwise. No matter neither how good of a parent you are nor how much you stay involved in your teenagers life the fact of the matter is that you cannot stay with them at all times. When you find yourself in a spot you are unprepared for you are not only in shock but want to fix the problem yourself and in some cases you have to ask for help.

Help is here and provided by a team of professionals who have spent years working with families and teenagers in a small crisis such as alcohol abuse to a life-threatening crisis. In some cases, the individuals helping you through the rough times in life have experienced the same heartaches you and your family are experiencing right now. When you have these problems arise it can be difficult to admit that as a parent you alone cannot help your child and you have to rely on the experience and advice of professionals. With the online assistance, you will not only get the professional help but the privacy your situations requires and deserves as well as the attention and care.

Stop living your life in darkness and embarrassment and contact the team of professional who care about the well being of your family so you can start hearing your teenager laugh and seeing them smile through life as they should. Teenage years are wonderful but trying as well and they are hit with all society has to throw at them so protect your loved ones when a problem arises even if it is a simple peer pressure problem and make sure your son or daughter have teenage memories to share and enjoy for the rest of their lives.

With a few simple steps you can start the road to happiness with your family when you take advantage of the experience of the professional individuals who are waiting on your call and concerned about your life and the happiness of your children. They will always be your babies, but to society they are experiments.

The Family Support You Need

2009-04-14T13:23:00.001-07:00

Life as a parent is a wonderful experience but it is also a trying and difficult experience at some points in your child’s life. A child has so much to work with as they grow up, from their body changes to society and their changing of friends. You cannot stay with them 24/7. As a parent you feel you should have all the answers to their problems, small or big, but there are times when you need advice from a professional to help your child overcome what life has thrown at them. It is difficult to admit that you do not have the answers for your child and just as hard to make the first call that will start you on the road to recovery.

A long line of experienced and trained professionals are waiting to help you and your families cope with what life gives us sometimes. You can count on the discreet and knowledgeable service that is offered by a team that has the experience you need when dealing with a family or teenage crisis. From a crisis that is upsetting to a life- threatening crisis you will find help and guidance from someone who has not only the training you need and deserve but who has, in some cases, been exactly where you are today. The feeling of being alone when it comes to a crisis is the worst feeling in the world but when you rely on the professional and friendly assistance you can start to overcome your problems and move on to a happy and healthy life.

Live life the way it is intended to be lived and be the supportive parent with the answers that you dream of having when you work side by side in saving the life of your child or another family member. Do not shut yourself off from help by thinking you are the only one in this situation or by being embarrassed. Remember you are not alone and there are people who have experienced the same problems and who have spent their lives finding solutions and answers to the questions you feel cannot be answered. Now, you can be the support your teenager or other loved one needs with the members of a professional and dependable online support group that has dedicated their lives to helping families and individuals just like you and me.

The answers and help are just a click or phone call away. Put an end to living a miserable life and start the road to recovery with the help you deserve. You will find the answers you need or the advice you have been searching for and that you can depend on. Life was intended to be wonderful and full of great memories, so start today living your life the way you should.

When Intervention is Necessary

2009-03-10T14:58:00.000-07:00

You’ve probably watched those television shows that portray crisis interventions as they pertain to substance abuse. You’ve probably seen countless documentaries and reality shows depicting rehab facilities and the situations a true addict will face on a daily basis. But television cannot compare -- cannot even come close to a comparison -- when your own child is facing addiction.
Crisis situations come in many forms. Often, young adults and adolescents require more in-depth care before education therapies will be of use. If you have a child who is suffering from a substance abuse problem, you have likely tried everything within your personal power to get him or her back on the right path. However, being a parent doesn’t mean having all the answers -- in which case you should consider enlisting professional services.
Once you’ve established that your child will need professional help for a substance abuse crisis, your professional counselor of choice may suggest and organize an intervention to put your child face-to-face with his or her problem. Once your child has agreed to and completed any necessary rehabilitation, it’s a good idea to address a new approach to life.
Adolescents and young adults who undergo crisis intervention and rehabilitation will also require educational counseling and may have the need for ongoing psychological counseling. Most of the time, people who suffer from addiction require ongoing psychological treatment to address the underlying causes that triggered the addiction in the first place.
Once your child has stabilized, and has begun living a productive lifestyle once again, you may find educational counseling of benefit for helping him or her get back on the right track for becoming a productive member of society. This educational counseling can help to put your child’s focus back on making something of themselves and off their addiction and extraneous problems.
Substance abuse and addiction can be triggered by lots of things, not the least of which is some traumatic event that leaves the individual unable to process associated emotions. An immature emotional development can manifest in a host of coping mechanisms. Some of these mechanisms prove destructive. In any case, parental obligation and moreover, love, will beckon you to contact caring and professional counselors to help you through this trying time.

Don't Face Your Crisis Alone

2009-03-02T20:54:00.000-08:00

Once you finally acknowledge that your family is in crisis, it can become extremely difficult to take the first step to call or ask for support. As a parent, it's your responsibility as the family expert to find solutions that work for your children and for yourselves. However, when you have a loved one who is facing a crisis situation, it can become completely overwhelming and difficult to keep your bearing when trying to come up with a solution. Often times parents are too close to the situation to see a way out. The good news is, there is. And this is where qualified team of crisis intervention specialists comes into play.

Believe it or not, your child in crisis could be involved in negative behavior that will eventually prevent him or her from being successful not only in family relationships, but in school and in future work environment. You may also find that your child is engaged in activities you disapprove of or spending time with individuals of a less than savory value. When children have nowhere to turn, they often turn to their peers and use a juvenile mindset that will cause them to turn to less than nurturing coping mechanisms to deal with the situation. However, utilizing the services of a high-quality crisis intervention or therapeutic consulting firm can help you dissuade your child from these activities or prevent them from taking it that far.

Often times, a child who turns to these coping mechanisms have lost their ability to deal and regulate with overwhelming emotions. When children are forced to face situations that are far beyond their maturity levels, they often feel the same kind of stress as do adults, only without the same emotional maturity. Believe it or not, highly trained cognitive behavioral therapists and the process of dialectical behavioral therapy can help to turn your entire situation around.

You may feel that you're facing a hopeless situation, you may feel that you have nowhere to turn, you may also believe that time will make things better, but the truth of the matter is. You can turn a hopeless situation around right now. You can take the steps to make a difference today, and while it's a nice thought, chances are that simply waiting out a problem will only be waiting until it's worse.